As in years. It’s been awhile since I wrote a letter to the addressee of this little book so I thought I’d give it a whirl for old time’s sake…

Dear Hubby-of-a-Decade,

Ten years ago, we chose love. But it was young and imperfect — maybe moreso based on feelings and emotions and shared passions, dreams and wanting to be loved and fulfilled. Today, it is still imperfect. But it is in that imperfection that God has taught us love, actually.

In the day to day. In the muck and mire. In allowing the other to be who we are now… not what we hope the other will become or what we wish the other will be like one day… the way He meets us right where we are at. In the sweet partnership of raising our beloved son. When we summit a mountain and breathe in the beauty of His creation… In forgiveness, sacrifice, giving, compromise, fighting for it, for us. In more small moments than big ones. In realizing the immensity of what our relationship means to a society that may find marriage not worthwhile. In joy, faith, hope.

There are hard days and yet even harder ones. And then there is the blessing, over and over and over and over. Ten years and I still don’t have it all figured out. But today and always, I still choose Love Extravagant. Thank you for choosing it with me, as we continue this lifelong journey of understanding His heart.

Happy Anniversary, my love.

me.

PS: One of these days, we’ll need a good chat in the parking lot of CCCC or plan a Sunday afternoon date in the lawn mower aisle at Sears. :)

Yes, two years later… :) Happy Birthday to the hubs!!!

That little thing called a kid has been keeping our hands full! It’s been months of drool, wipes, milk, diapers, giggles, burps, tears, gurgles, stroller-ing and more… We’ve gone to San Francisco, Taiwan, Singapore, Malaysia, Portland, Austin, Salt Lake City, Canyons, Boston, Vermont, New Hampshire and Maine. Yep, all with the munchkin!!!!

Thought it was high time for a post… So this catchy song has been playing around the radio recently and the title seems vaguely familiar. :)) Meghan, I totally got ya with the anniversary flowers (but keep expectations low after year 5, ha!), sleeping on the left side of the bed, not learning how to cook (well?), a nice ring, opening doors, date nights (forsake these not!) and such…

But now, coming from the other side of DFH (as in marriage!), I’m reminded what’s also (or mostly?) involved is self-denial, sacrifice, sanctification, servanthood, picking up our cross daily. It’s about giving, not always in expectation of a return… or giving but not even thinking about it — as Love is the relentless force/strength behind it.

This passage always lingers near: “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death—even death on a cross!” -Philippians 2:3-8

And these:
“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins.” -1 Peter 4:8

“Be completely humble and gentle; Be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the spirit through the bond of peace.” -Ephesians 4:2-3

“And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.” -Ephesians 4:32

TOUGH STUFF! I mean, there are so many times I read these verses and I’m like, seriously? But yes, the stuff of true, deep, long-lasting marriages. The GOOD stuff.

I stumbled across this and it spoke to me: “The husband is bound by love to ensure
that his wife finds their marriage a source of rich fulfillment and joyful service to the Lord.” -ESV Study Bible

Not to ourselves. Not to me. Not to my husband. So, ultimately, it’s not about us. We are not the point. It’s about Him.

PS: And so, too, parenthood… But that’s a whole other story. ;-P

Here be the surprise mentioned in our last post. :) Yep, we’re settling into life as new parents – it’s been crazy, fun, tiring, challenging, rewarding and so much more… But we are grateful and humbled with this little blessing and look forward to this next wild adventure!

Before heading off to perhaps another poopy diaper, I’ll share some recent letters submitted. Love these and appreciate you guys sending them in! Hmmm, so we’ll have to get our son to write one… when he starts dating… in 50 years… at the earliest! ;-P

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Future One,

Sing me the Song of Songs with your love. Love me with the fierceness
and tenderness that reflects the love of Our Father. Unite your heart
with Him, so that when our hearts meet, the three become one. Push me
to be the woman God is calling me to be. Push me, but be gentle. Push
me, but wrap me in your arms when I fail.

I want to love you with the love of God. I want my heart to be so lost
in His love that when our hearts meet they are one in HIM. I want your
happiness and wellbeing, even now before I know you. I promise to love
you with all I have and to give for you daily. I will try to forgive
when I can and try harder when it seems I can’t. I promise to stand
by you every day. Forgive me if I fail. Be patient with my faults.
Love me at my best and my worst. I may get impatient waiting, but I
know that as I wait, you are on a journey with God. If you get
impatient, don’t give up on me. I’m coming, just know that as you
wait God is forming me into the woman He designed. Please keep me in
your prayers as I keep you in mine.

Love you already,
Your Future One

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Love of mine,
I miss you. Not in a physical way but in the deep longings of my
spirit. I know God will bring you to me. I know we are going to be
together soon. I can’t wait to date you and marry you. When we get
married can we:
* Ride a ferris wheel together even though they scare me?
* Take pictures in a mall photo booth?
* Read books and poetry aloud to each other?
* Kiss in the rain?
* Kiss under the fireworks on the 4th of July?
* Will you write a song about me?
* Hold my hand in church?
* Hold the songbook for me and sing loud and strong praises to your
Lord?
I love you endlessly.
I am always waiting and ever praying,
Yours eternally.

*********************************************************************************************************************

Dear Future Wife,

I really don’t know how to start. The wait is really hard. I feel
depressed frequently and upset when i see many people date. I long to
meet you someday for I am waiting for God to transform me completely.
I am very, shy, insecure, emotional. I believe the reason I haven’t
met you yet is because I need more of HIM than you. I am praying for
you that the enemy doesn’t deceive you. I am soaking myself and trying
to spend more of my time with HIM, hoping that i would be more like
him. I have a great desire to be a man after his own heart. My mind at present
is not according to his will. I have to get rid of so many fantasies
which are not worth speaking of. Please do pray that I must meet you
as God wants me to meet you, I certainly believe that God has thought
of us together. Please don’t rush into giving yourself to another
person. Everyday many distractions come on my side too. I am constantly
thinking of you. One day when we meet I will give myself to you
completely. I will tell you how many times MY SAVIOR has kept me safe
from all the pitfalls. Maybe it’s because you have prayed for me or
your parents have prayed for me. Thank God I have never got entangled
anywhere. I am waiting for you. I hope I am not boring. People always
consider me as such. They take me for granted. They trample on my
feelings so easily, because I usually never fight back. I am so broken
now but I am glad that Lord has allowed such. It’s for his glory and
it’s for you I believe.

Thank you so much for waiting for me. The Lord is preparing our
hearts. Pray for me as I am praying for you

Your Future Husband,
Daniel

What a road we have traveled! Still running side by side — through easy flats and tough hills, smooth roads and rocky plains. Regardless, come what may, eyes forward, on Him, on the prize… (Hebrews 12:1-2!)

The recent sprinkling of Twitter followers (nice to “meet” you, folks!) and a reminder to renew this domain also spawned this post. :)

We have a surprise… a fairly big one. Stay tuned!

But for now, I’ll leave with a letter submitted by Sabrina:

Dear Future Husband,
I can’t wait until nights like this, when I have to go to bed early because I work early in the morning and we send the evenings watching movies until we fall asleep. I can’t wait to feel you lie beside me, to feel you breathing against my neck, hear you snore, and feel the warmth of your body against mine. I want to fall asleep cuddled in your protective arms. I want to fall asleep holding your hand. I want to wake up and kiss your sleeping face. I want to love you forever.

Forever my love, your future wife.

It’s been a time of change and trial… But He is constant.

This is something that cries out to be shared: Ian & Larissa’s Story. (Make sure to watch the video at the bottom!).

For those of you still thinking and dreaming about your future husbands/spouses, what if God called you to this? But in a sense, we all are as we enter into marriage… It is at times long and hard and sad and tough and imperfect. But we remind ourselves of the covenant, just as Christ made to His church, to love much and to live looking heavenward… for His Kingdom and Glory alone.

This Piper passage quoted at I&L’s wedding speaks such truth, both for those of us married and those still in waiting:

Marriage is not mainly about prospering economically; it is mainly about displaying the covenant-keeping love between Christ and his church. Knowing Christ is more important than making a living. Treasuring Christ is more important than bearing children. Being united to Christ by faith is a greater source of material success than perfect sex and double-income prosperity.

So it is with marriage. It is a momentary gift. It may last a lifetime, or it may be snatched away on the honeymoon. Either way, it is short. It may have many bright days, or it may be covered with clouds. If we make secondary things primary, we will be embittered at the sorrows we must face. But if we set our face to make of marriage mainly what God designed it to be, no sorrows and no calamities can stand in our way. Every one of them will be, not an obstacle to success, but a way to succeed. The beauty of the covenant-keeping love between Christ and his church shines brightest when nothing but Christ can sustain it.

Closing this post with a verse that I keep turning back to of late and it’s simply, “‘Father, glorify Your name.‘” -John 12:28. So wherever you’re at, whatever you’re going through, isn’t that the end all and be all? Nothing more, nothing less…

PS: Happy Birthday, Hubs! :) To another year walking alongside you as we together grow to be more like our Lord and love as He first loved us.

2012 is unraveling way too fast for me! The Lord continues to shake up things when I think I have everything just under control and nicely figured out. It’s a good thing, though, because all the more to rely on His grace that is all-sufficient and more than enough. :)

Here’s another must-share letter from Billie… I loved the quote in here (which inspired the title of this post).

Dearest Future Husband,
On July 16th of 2011 I made a commitment for the next year to stay single and devote my life to Christ. Letting Him shape me, mold me and make me into that godly woman you’ve been waiting for. It has now been about 8 months since that commitment and I’m proud to say that I’m more in love with my Heavenly Father then I ever have been. He has healed my heart from my broken past and has showed me new and beautiful things in life. He has placed amazing godly ladies in my life to help lead me and keep me accountable in my commitment. But I must say, this hasn’t been all hunky dory. Some days I get so frustrated with other couples and jealous at the fact they have something and I don’t. It frustrates me sometimes when I don’t know who you are or where you are. But then when I come to those frustrating times, God pulls me back to Him and His word, showing me what true love really is. When I look at my small ring with a heart placed in the middle, I remember the commitment that I made back in the summer to my Father and what He has in store for me. I know that if I continually seek Christ and keep Him as the center of my life, He will bring you into my life when His timing is right, not when I think it is right. One quote that I have hanging on my desk that I try to live by every day is “A woman’s heart must be so hidden in God, that a man has to seek Him to find her.” I just hope and pray that this is true, that you will seek Christ before you decide to pursue me. I mean after all it’s good to get the Father’s approval right? ;) So in the meantime I just want to say that I am praying for you daily and I will still continually write to you.

With all of my love
-Your future wife

“For of His fullness we have all received, and grace upon grace.” John 1:16

Grace upon grace upon grace upon grace! Upon grace. Upon grace upon grace! Indeed, if His grace were an ocean, we’re all sinking. And this grace is ever so graced. :) Those were snippets from my journal these past months…

I can’t believe that we’re nearing the end of 2011! It’s been quite a year… This fall, I got to spend some time with the other side of my family (aka in-laws) in South America which was an incredible experience!

Looking forward to the coming season of thanks, joy, cheer, giving and celebrating Him…

I wanted to share a DFH letter that was sent days before our milestone 5th year wedding anniversary on 11.11.11. What a journey it’s been and we can only look towards what is to come (in anticipation!) as we hold fast to His faithfulness, sovereignty, and goodness. :)

From Virginia:
Dear future husband,

I can’t promise you that I will always agree. I can’t promise you that
I will always tell you what’s wrong. I can’t promise that I will always
be able to ease your pain. I can’t promise you that I will never get
on your nerves. But I promise you that I will always be there for you.
I will smile with you and I will cry with you. I will care for you
when you get ill. I will cook for you and try to make it nutritious
and delicious. I will care for our kids and our pets with all the love
I have. I will try to point you to Christ in every moment. I pray that
our relationship will bring glory to God. I look forward to our many
adventures together.

In Christ,
Your future wife

I just logged into Twitter after ages and it’s interesting to see the people that somehow find you…

The last few months have been trying, somewhat busy, but always full of grace. :) I was fighting a weird illness/allergy/skin reaction for weeks and then by nothing short of a miracle, made it overseas for a family trip.

Anyway, I’m still so blessed by random notes, e-mails, and words of encouragement here and there regarding DFH.

I wanted to post a heartfelt letter that stood out to me. Thanks for sharing, Mallory!

Dear Future Husband,

I write to you in blue because blue reminds me of sadness and hardship. It represents
the many tearful days I have experienced this past month. It demonstrates the
loneliness, insecurities, and longing that have plagued my heart at times. But, blue
also reminds me of the beautiful sky God created. When I look at the sky, I am
reminded of God’s faithfulness. The vast, endless blue brings peace as I reflect on
how powerful and huge God is, and how He has an amazing plan for me that will
bring Him glory—all to happen under this big blue sky. It’s in those moments that I
look down at the ring on my left hand. The crosses that surround my name imprinted
on the ring remind me that I am Christ’s and He is mine. But, it also brings me hope
and assurance that one day a Godly guy will replace that ring with his own ring of
promise. Until that day, I will be wearing this ring, knowing that God will light my
path before me as my love relationship with Him deepens. I know that as I pursue
God with my whole heart, He will bring you into my life in His timing. As I am in this
valley of broken heartedness, I know that He will use this time to mature my identity
in Christ, develop a deep level of trust and reliance on Him, and completely restore
my heart. As I eagerly await the day you come into my life, I desire to embrace all that
God has in store for me in singleness. I am also striving to become a Proverbs 31
woman, because I want to prepare for the Godly marriage I yearn for. Trusting God
with my heart and my life, I have given him the pen to my love story. I cannot wait to
experience the beautiful, romantic and joyful story God has in store for us.

Praying for you,
Your Future Wife

Wow, a quarter or so has passed and the new year has come and gone.

I’ve been busy designing (> writing?) & traveling and not book marketing at all. But most of you that know me know that’s NOT me. :P

Copies are always still available; thanks for the continual support and somehow finding out about it. :) I’ll update here and there when I can.

Here’s a cool short DFH note from a stranger:
Dear Future Husband… I await your arrival :) we r gunna b a dynamic duo for the King and His Kingdom!

First of all, thanks to everyone who came/dropped by for the signing last month. :) It’s always a blessing to fellowship with friends old and new.

I wanted to share the sweetest DFW (“Dear Future Wife”) letter! It’s been really surprising for me to see how many guys do think about this things and their willingness to be open and vulnerable.

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Dear Future Wife,

I wonder if you’re struggling with singleness as I am now. I wonder if you’ve ever beheld the beauty that is God’s gift of marriage, and wondered when it was that you’d finally get to be a bride instead of a bridesmaid. I wonder if you’ve ever gazed at a full moon like the one tonight, or marveled at a meteor shower, and felt like something was missing because you didn’t have a special someone to share that moment of awe with. I wonder if you’ve ever thought you’d met the one, and then subsequently had your heart broken. I wonder if you’ve ever raised your fist at the heavens at reading Genesis 2:18, that God could design man in such a way that in spite of the perfect fellowship Adam had with God, Adam was in a sense, still alone. If so, I wish this letter could somehow find its way into your hands now, and that you might be encouraged. Because I, your future husband, do in fact exist, and have struggled with those same questions and doubts you’re struggling with now.

Beloved, know that for all your wanting and longing, all your brokenness and fears, God is working through all things to shape you to become the woman He wants you to be – one who is like His Son, Jesus Christ. He is preparing us for a lifelong commitment not just to each other, but to bring Him glory through His gift of marriage. This time of singleness that we are both going through now is not simply a time of waiting but a time of growing, learning, maturing, and trusting. I pray that this time would truly strengthen your faith in Him as you realize just how dependent you are and just how dependable He is. Would the suffering you feel now clarify the intentions of your heart, to help you learn to worship the Deliverer and not the hope of deliverance. And know that you are not alone in this time – even as you are waiting for me, I am waiting for you.

There’s a song that I would love to sing to you now if I could, “Here to Stay” by Koo Chung. May it encourage you as we both await the day we finally realize who the other is.

Verse 1:
You were there, pulling thorns from your fingers
From all the foolish flowers placed in tender hands
And so I’m here, making sure there is not one left
On this hopeless little rose, I’ve been saving for you

Chorus:
Maybe it’s love, or maybe it’s two years down the drain
But where there is no pain, I guess there is no gain
Maybe it’s tough, but you’re more than worth the wait
And so I’m here to stay, yeah I’m here to stay

Grace and peace to you,
Your future husband

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He titled this DFW #1 — the first of many to come, I’m sure. :) What a testimony of waiting on and believing in God’s best.